It’s time for the next chapter in my Live Happier Project! My marriage was the next on my list to work on in my life, as habits and routine can bog down a relationship. Though Jordan and I have been married less than a year, we have been together for 5 1/2 and living together for most of it. It’s easy to take one another for granted because we have been out of that honeymoon stage for so long now. We both need to work on the way we treat one another and be more mindful of our words, tone, time spent, but I am not going to make this month about us working on things together, necessarily. This is my project and I feel like if I work on myself and my actions, his behavior will fall into place as well.
April’s To Dos
- Quit Nagging – I am so guilty of this one! “Stop playing video games, take the trash out, pick up your clothes off the floor…” Honestly I feel like I live with a teenager, and I am the nagging mother. All I can hear are Miranda Hobb’s words (Sex and The City) of “No one wants to f*** mean mommy.” I’ve already put this in practice and kept quiet on A LOT of things I wanted to nag about today, so this one will certainly be a challenge!
- Fight Right – My friends always come to me about relationship advice and it’s so easy to tell them as an impartial person what they should and shouldn’t do, as well as how to communicate with their partners. However, as we all know, taking one’s own advice is easier said than done. Jordan loses his temper at times, but for the most part he can calm me down and wants to resolve things quickly. I just want to stew, have some space, and then hold a grudge for a few hours. It isn’t productive, so I need to learn to put my pride aside and be slower to anger.
- Remember The Vows and The Wedding Day – I think if I stop to remember why I got married and the personal vows we said to each other, it will be easier to be nicer to my hubby :).
- Give More, Expect Less – I feel like I give and contribute in the relationship, and I like to be acknowledged for it. However, I can also be very selfish and snappy, which is a fault I need to work on for sure. I need to just put the other person first and really focus on making life easier for my husband. My hope is that by putting him first instead of myself, it will make me happier because it has made him happier.
- Positive Reinforcement – This works on kids, dogs, and even adults. Negative reinforcement is just not as successful.
- Give Proofs of Love – This can tie into the give more item, but I want to leave little notes around or buy something small that will show I’m thinking of him.
- Listen More – Jordan says I never listen to him. Honestly, I feel like he mansplains a lot and it drives me up the wall. Plus, I’m stubborn. I like to do what I want to do! However, Jordan will feel more respected as my partner if I just listened and do the things that he would like me to do at times. A lot of the stuff he says makes sense, but I just don’t see why it always has to be his way, but I’m going to give it a try!
- Be More Intimate – Especially since the dog sleeps in bed with us, well, being more intimate is a little bit more of a challenge these days. I want to get back to feeling sexy and not being exhausted all the time.
So those are my goals for the month. Any suggestions on how you keep your marriage or relationship going in a positive way is welcome!